Hello, and Welcome Back
by Kale-ness
Summary: Sara left Vegas and is off to deal with her problems. Where does she go, what does she do, and will it really help her? Plus, how does her departure leave Grissom?
1. Intro Summary

**Hello, and Welcome Back**

* * *

Sara left Vegas and is off to deal with her problems. Where does she go, what does she do, and will it really help her? Plus, how does her departure leave Grissom?

**Characters:**

All of the current CSIs. Mostly about Sara and Grissom. Yes they are/were a couple in the story, yes it will be mentioned, but no, the entire story does not dwell on their relationship. In fact, it mostly just dwells on Sara.

Other then that, there will be Sara's mom and Sara's brother (I am saying he is her real brother although I have never found a conclusive statement declaring whether or not they are indeed related or from foster care). There may possibly be more characters then that. I don't know for sure yet.

**Rating:**

T mostly, but their will be M chapters. I will most likely not write explicit sex scenes. Why you may ask? Because I just don't think I could bring myself to write one. I'll try it out once the time comes and we'll see how it goes.

**Overall Comment:**

I am writing this story strictly for myself. I posted it on here so that everyone else could get a nice taste of my views on what is currently happening in the personal lives of everyone's favourite couple! (Okay so not _everyone_… shifty eyes at those OTHER people )

Your opinions do count in some things. I will read all reviews and I would LOVE if you wrote them on a regular bases. But in the end, it is my say. If I want something to happen or to not happen, that is how it will go. Your opinions will affect me a bit though wink

The story is not all planned out yet. I know how it starts, I know how it will end. I know a couple of little things in the middle but the entire thing is not set in stone.

I have a beta-reader. So don't message me asking if you can be one. Unless she quits, I will not need one. Luffs to Dino-Saur-Rocker for her hard work! She's corrected a fair amount of mistakes and also helps with the overall content of the story so far, so thank her too!


	2. Heartbroken

Grissom sat alone in his office once again as the sound of thunder echoed through the halls and into the room. He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose with a sigh before he placed the glasses back and continued reading the seemingly endless pile of paperwork.

As the last of the night shift had left, he still remained. Seated in his chair. Staring at his office door as if he was waiting for something. For someone. But no one would stop to talk. No one would wave goodbye. Not like her at least.

Grissom hadn't gone home on time since Sara left him two months ago. He just couldn't bear to go home and sit in his cold, lonely apartment. It was too much. And the storm tonight was only adding to the depressed feeling Grissom had. He wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, he knew that much.

Most nights he would dream that Sara would returned. That she would jump into his arms and kiss him. That they would make love like they had done so many times before and she would stay with him forever, never leaving him again. He'd dream about what their kids would look like and where they would raise them. Whether or not they would retire in Vegas or move to some tropical paradise.

He would dream of their fairy tale 'happily ever after'.

But then he would awake to his apartment, alone in his bed. And when he checked his phone, there were no messages from Sara. She would not be at his door waiting for him to let her in. She wouldn't be at work the next day, rejoining the team and going on like nothing happened, smiling and laughing the whole way.

She would still be gone.

But there were some nights when he dreamt of her being hurt. That something would happen to her. She would be in a car crash. Beaten up. Raped. Murdered. She would be in someway harmed and he wasn't there to save her and by the time he did get there it would be too late. She would be dead or close to it. Or even worse, she would be alive but so much damage would have went on that she would never be the same. Her spirit would be gone. That toughness and spirit that had made Grissom fall in love with her over and over again would be gone.

It was these nights when Grissom did not run around his apartment looking for her. He would awake in a cold sweat and cry. He would cry about how he didn't ask her to stay with him that time at the lecture over fifteen years ago. He would cry about how he invited her to come to Vegas with him only to ignore her. He cried about how he rejected her that time when she asked him out, when she made the first attempt at a relationship. He would cry about how they hid their relationship from the world once it did happen, instead of just enjoying it. He would cry because the last time he saw her, he knew she was hurting and he didn't have the nerve to ask her how she was.

He would put himself down on a daily bases saying that if he had only asked her if she was okay, that Sara would still be with him and they would work through the problems she was going through.

He would say he didn't deserve her. That he was too old or he wasn't personable enough to deserve her. That a good guy would have asked her to go out a long time ago and would have never let her go. That a good guy would not hurt her by rejecting her or by ignoring her feelings. That a good guy would be with her right now instead of crying in his apartment alone.

But at work the next day he would hear from his coworkers that Sara was fine. They would have spoken with her on the phone some time that week and she would be telling them that she was doing well and missed them all so much and how she couldn't wait to see them all again.

They would talk about her for a few more minutes, saying how much they missed her and how they wished she would be here right now to make some sort of smart joke about what Greg or Nick were doing.

But she still would be gone. No matter what they all wished. She would still be gone.

Grissom sighed. No matter what he did, he always found himself alone with thoughts of Sara. She was on his mind ever since they met. But it was easier back then. When they were not together. Because at least then he would get to hear her voice say goodbye to him, he would be able to see her standing at that office door. He would be able to watch her turn and walk away knowing full well she would get home safe and he would be able to see her again in less then twenty-four hours.

Now all he had was a picture of her, cuddling their dog, and the note she'd left him. Just memories of the time they had spent together. And although memories were swell, it was nothing compared to the real thing.

Memories were not tangible. They were bits of the past that he happened to store in his mind. He had been living off these memories but as the time passed they seemed to lose their magic. He remembered the first time they met. The first time they touched. The time he held her against the bed sheet in the middle of that shift, knowing full well that they were not doing this only to prove the evidence.

He remembered the time they finally went out together and admitted that they were in love. The first time they made that love physical. The first time they kissed. The first time they were apart. He remembered proposing to her and the look on her face when the bee stung her. He remembered discussing the wedding, knowing full well neither of them wanted anything big and fancy without even having to speak the words.

What he did not remember was realizing that one day he would feel like this. He would feel like he was dying and yet no one would save him or put him out of his misery. That he would be sitting in his office and doing nothing besides thinking about the woman that left him. The woman he didn't disserve.

Grissom never thought he would be heartbroken.


	3. Home, Sweet Home

As Sara walked through the bustling airport, she sighed stopping outside the automatic doors and looking out at the taxis, limos, and buses that awaited their patrons. It smelt like cigarettes and sweat, the same smell that seemed to float around the plane even though cigarettes were not allowed to be lit onboard the aircraft and deodorant was advertised on a regular bases and quite cheap.

Sara sighed as her gaze moved to the skyline. It was then that it dawned on her. She had no real clue why she was here. Yes she wanted to solve her problems. But how in the world would her problems get solved back in San Francisco? Back here where she hadn't been in over twenty years. It seemed like eternity. Everything had changed so much.

But no matter what questions and thoughts would run through her head, Sara Sidle was here. And she might as well deal with it and make the best of the situation. What was the worst that could happen, she would get to clear her head?

The tall brunette finally caught a taxi and smiled at the short, dirty man who threw her suitcase into the trunk. He looked at her in a peculiar way and Sara raised a brow before getting into the backseat. She hated taxis. The seats were dirty with gum, sweat, and god knows what else. There were all kinds of different pieces of trash on the floor and the entire thing often smelt horrible. Not to mention the fact that most taxi drivers could not drive to save their souls. Sara quickly put on her seatbelt and hoped she would get to her hotel as fast (and as safe) as possible so she could rent herself a car.

As the car bucked into motion and the taxi driver asked where she would be staying, Sara looked out the window. The airport slowly moved out of view and Sara Sidle was able to gaze at the city's skyline.

"Miss, where are you going?"

His words interrupted her thoughts and Sara quickly looked up at the taxi driver who peered through the rear-view mirrors at her. The look on his face was definitely not as happy and strange as it was before. In fact, he didn't look happy at all.

"Oh.. umm.. Castle Inn, please"

The hotel was nothing spectacular. But from the pictures it was nice enough for her and cheap enough that could she rent for a while without worrying too much about the bill. Not to mention the fact that she hadn't decided where she was going until a couple hours ago. She was lucky enough to be able to book the room in the first place with such short notice.

Sara sighed again. _What am I thinking?_ She thought to herself as her gaze moved back out towards the passing scenery of the city. _Nothing I need is here. Where would I go?_

With no answers, Sara reached in her pocket to turn on her phone. As the phone made some goofy ring tone and displayed it's starting up message, she rolled her eyes. Why was everything in life so animated?

If it was to make people happy and cheery, she was immune to it

Her phone soon displayed that she'd had fourteen missed calls, mostly from her old co-workers. They really did care about her. Even though she had doubted their affections at first, she slowly came to realize that these people were her friends. The only true friends she'd had for as long as she could remember. She smiled at the text messages they'd sent, asking her where she was going and why she'd left without saying goodbye.

Not one from Grissom though.

It wasn't like she expected him to call or say anything. She'd left him. He probably hated her at this point. Why would he call? Why would he bother to waste his time talking to a woman who wouldn't take the time to talk to him? A woman who never sat down and explained to him why she was leaving?

So, as Sara flipped her phone closed and put it back into her jean pocket, she tried to push the thought of Grissom out of her head. It was too much to think about. But as her gaze, once again, went back out the window, her thoughts were of him.

Of the man she left back in Vegas. Of the man she loved.

Sara wanted so bad to have stayed with Grissom, to have been able to solve her problems with him by her side. But she knew that for the past two years that she'd been with him, that no matted what they did, her problems were not getting dealt with.

Sara knew she had to do it alone. She knew that she had to get out into the world, go back to where it all started and clean it all up. She knew she had to come back to San Francisco, she had to talk to her family, and she had to do it all by herself.

How could she be in a relationship, a partnership, if she couldn't even accept herself as a person?

As Sara's eyes fell upon the hotel she was going to be staying at, the taxi driver's voice once again interrupted her thoughts.

"$23.75" he said, his tone tired and bored.

Sara nodded and got some money out of her black, leather purse.

"Keep the change," she said as she handed him the cash. When he took the mondy, Sara moved her hand to the seatbelt to unbuckle herself and turned to the door of the cab. Once she opened the door she slowly slid out and stepped onto the dirty, gum-covered sidewalk outside the hotel. Her head spun from standing after such a long time of sitting but once it stopped, Sara was able to turn towards the trunk of the car.

The taxi driver was already pulling her suitcase out and the brunette smiled before taking the handle her hand and saying thank you. The driver smiled in a fake manner and then got back into the car, speeding off.

As Sara turned and looked up towards the hotel, she sighed.

"Home, Sweet Home."

* * *

To Be Continued...


	4. Peace & Quiet

Hey everyone. I noticed a fair amount of people read the first two chapters, but no one reviewed. Unless I recieve reviews, I am going to assume no one reads these chapters and I will not update. I have another couple chapters that I am holding hostage until someone reviews. So... R&R please!

* * *

"Can I help whose next?"

The voice shrilled through Sara's head as the clerk called her over. Sara dragged her suitcase behind her and walked silently up to the check-in counter.

"How can I help you today, M'ame?" the tall dark, haired woman said in a strangely happy voice.

"I am here to check in. Sara Sidle" the brunette said, trying to sound enthused. The entire lobby was filled with the sounds of screeching children and talking businessmen and women, both of which were equally annoying. It smelt like carpet cleaner and sweaty shoes and the colour contrasts of burgundy and beige were enough to make one sick.

"Oh. Yup, you're right here" the woman said pointing at the computer screen in front of her as if Sara would have been able to see it, " You're in room 222, Ms. Sidle."

"There is a standard $75.00 charge for the room" the woman continued and Sara fished through her purse to find her wallet. Upon retrieving it, she passed the woman her card and watched as she slid it through the machine.

"Sign here please."

Sara took the pen and receipt and signed her name on it. Once finished she passed the woman the receipt and pen and was given her copy of the receipt and a blank white room card, along with her credit card.

"Thank you very much," Sara responded with a smile as she took the card from the woman and made her way over to the elevators.

Once arriving she noticed that it was only herself and another man waiting for the elevators. It was strange since the hotel seemed to be quite busy when you stood in the lobby.

As the elevator dinged and its doors quickly opened, Sara walked forward and smiled a thank you as she noticed the man put his hand in front of the door so it wouldn't close on her.

As she stepped inside she hit the dirty button stating '2' and stepped back beside her suitcase. The man had hit '5' already and Sara wondered how different the rooms were the higher up the floors you traveled.

"Have you stayed here before?" the man said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Oh, no. I haven't. Is it nice?" she asked, looking up at him. He was quite tall, slim, and had short brown hair. Sara judged by his suit and suitcase that he was a businessman.

An attractive businessman.

"Not sure, I just got here myself" he responded with a chuckle and Sara smiled at him before she heard the ding of the elevator telling her it was her floor. As the doors opened again and Sara began to step out, the man spoke again.

"I hope to see you around!"

"Yeah," Sara said with a smile, not as equally amused. She turned and looked at the closest door to tell the number. 234.

As she travelled down the hallway she noticed how deafeningly quiet it was compared to downstairs.

"Finally. Peace and quiet."

As Sara reached her room, she slid the card through the scanner and watched the light go from red to green. She opened the door and stepped inside, catching the closing door with her hip as it fell back.

Sara walked inside, pulling the suitcase behind her, and let the door close behind her. As she dragged her luggage behind her, she headed towards the bedroom. Upon arriving, she dropped her purse and belongings on the floor and fell onto the bed, exhausted.

As she stared up at the ceiling, Sara finally realized that she was here. She'd left Vegas and was now in San Francisco. She left everything she knew to come here to everything she didn't.

As she sighed she lifted herself off the bed and looked around, her eyes dancing tiredly across the room.

The hotel room wasn't all what it was cracked up to be, but it wasn't bad either. When you walked in you'd be facing a window on the far wall, a closet to your left, a couch past that which faced a tv on the right wall. The tv was contained in a wooden tv stand. Beside the stand was a small table with two chairs.

Right beside the entrance of the room was a small kitchenette. Between the table and the kitchen was the bedroom door.

If you were to enter the bedroom you'd be faced with a queen sized bed on the far wall. Beside it would be a nightstand on either side and a chest of drawers would be to the left of you.

On your right was a door that led to the washroom. The washroom was extremely cramped and small, but contained all the necessities it would need for one to survive off of.

The hotel room was quite clean, impressing Sara, which now meant she wouldn't be so worried about having to sleep in the bed.

As her tired form screamed at her to get some rest, Sara kicked off her shoes tiredly and crawled up into the bed. She pulled herself into the covers and slowly slid inside the cool sheets, releasing a sigh as she let her head fall onto the pillow. As sleep slowly washed over her, lulling her into unconsciousness, Sara was plagued with the normal, eerie dreams that so haunted her.

To Be Continued…


	5. Dreaming of You

"_Why did you not clean up after school like I told you to?" a tall, bulky man screamed as a young brunette sat on the floor in her bedroom._

"_I… I… for…got," she stuttered, dropping the doll she was playing with as the man started to step toward her._

"_So you disobeyed me?" he said harshly._

"_I didn't mean to" the little girl said, standing up and scurrying away from him as he _

_came closer._

"_Answer my question! Did you, or did you not, disobey me?"_

"_I did… I am sorry," the little girl said quietly as her back hit against the wall, no longer being able to move away from the man._

"_I didn't want to have to do this… but you made me…" the man said, raising his hand and striking the girl in the face…_

Sara awoke screaming in her bed, her body drenched in sweat. She sat up quickly, her breath uneven and short. Her hair was a mess, the tresses sticking up in every which direction. The very little makeup she wore smudged in dark circles under her eyes before leaving a faint line down her cheeks.

"It was a dream, Sara… it was just a dream"

As the brunette ran her fingers through her sweat filled hair, she slowly moved to the edge of the bed and headed towards the washroom. Her steps were quiet, as if she was sneaking somewhere, but were quick and sharp.

As she flicked on the lights and looked in the mirror, she was greeted with a sweaty, red-faced look.

Sara groaned at the appearance, her breath slowly starting to grow even, although her heart was still going a mile a minute. She bent down to turn the tap on for the shower, changing the water until it was just before scalding point, and then turned on the showerhead.

As she stood, backing away from the tub, nausea hit her from getting up to fast. The brunette suppressed the feelings and slowly began to peel off her sweaty jeans and shirt.

As she looked at herself in the mirror, she seen she was still wearing the matching bra and panties that she had purchased thinking her and Grissom would be having a quiet evening together.

That was before she left.

Sara tried to ignore it and slowly peeled the undergarments off, throwing them with the other heap of clothing that lay in the middle of the floor.

As she stepped in the shower, letting the hot water fall over her, Sara sighed.

Nightmares were something no one enjoyed. And just like a regular child, vampires and demons haunted Sara when she was young. But that all changed when her father started abusing alcohol. Then her nightmares were of 'Daddy' hurting her family.

These nightmares continued on throughout Sara's life, sometimes they were of her father hitting her or her brother or her mother. Sometimes they were of her father doing other things.

But either way, these dreams haunted Sara day in and day out. Sara remembered the first time she slept at Grissom's place. She had awoken from one of those dreams in the usual manner of screaming and yelling 'Stop', 'No', or one of the customary words. Grissom had awoken thinking someone was in the room attacking her. It was a shock to him to realize that it was someone in dreams that was hurting her.

Sara knew Grissom assumed a lot of things about her past. She'd told him about her father hitting her and her mom. About how her father was killed when her mother shot him in the back of the head. Grissom had asked once whether or not she was raped, but Sara refused to answer. She was sure he got the answer from that kind of response. But what Grissom didn't know was how often her past really affected her.

Sara used to see her father on the streets, walking right beside her with a drunken smile on his face. She'd see him in her house; feel his touch on her skin, in her dreams. But when the dreams started coming more often, like they were now, and getting more realistic was when Sara knew she had a problem.

Sara finished washing herself off, allowing the conditioner to rinse through her hair, the suds falling down her back, her legs, and then spiralling into the drain below. She continued to scrub the sweat and tears off of her body before she bent down and turned the shower off.

As she pulled the curtain back and reached for a towel, she looked at herself once again in the mirror. Although the redness was gone, the dark circles under her eyes still remained.

It was going to be a long day.

To be continued…


	6. Nervous

After Sara had washed her face and brushed her teeth, it was clear to her that today was not her day. She had vomited a couple times since getting out of the washroom, no matter how much she washed she still felt dirty, and she seemed to sweat for no real reason.

For a split second, Sara thought she was pregnant but realized that it was impossible. She had been so messed up for the past little while that intimacy was not on her 'To-do' list. So she decided it must be jetlag, which seemed right given she had just travelled for so long.

As she stepped out the washroom, a towel wrapped around her body and another wrapped around her hair, she began searching through her suitcases looking for clothes. Sara wasn't all that fussy about clothing. Yes she wanted to look good, but she wasn't some fashionista. She wasn't particular about what she wore, as long as she was comfortable. This usually worked well for her in her field of work. But today she wasn't sure whether or not it was a day for being in style or being comfortable

Deciding upon the latter, she pulled out jeans and a white blouse and walked back into the washroom to change. She dropped the towel and pulled on her clothes, looking at herself in the mirror hoping to God she looked better than she felt.

As she removed the towel from atop her head, allowing her brown hair to fall onto her shoulders, she began to wonder what she was going to do today. She came here to fix her problems, but she wasn't sure how. She was in her hometown. Where her life began. But why? It wasn't like she remembered this place. And even if she did, it had changed so much since then. The buildings had gotten taller, streets busier, and even the taxi drivers seemed to be crazier.

Sara began to towel-dry her hair as she continued to think. What _was_ she going to do today?

Walk? To where? That couldn't possibly be a plan.

Shop? Didn't really enjoy it that much, and with no set income right now it would be best if she kept the shopping minimal.

Sightsee? ...why?

Finally an idea popped into her head and she once again travelled out to her room, sat upon her bed and grabbed her purse. Fishing inside, she pulled out an envelope and slowly pulled out the piece of paper inside.

The letter was from her mother. She had received this after her ventures with the 'Miniature Killer', which thus started her problems. As she began to read the words she sighed. She knew she would eventually have to meet her mother again, talk about the past, present, and future. But Sara wasn't sure if she was ready. But her mother insisted in the letter that Sara come visit some time so they could talk.

"What the hell would I say, mother? Geez Mom, haven't seen you since you blew Dad's head in! How've ya been?" she said aloud as if the letter would respond. But as her eyes peered to the bottom of the letter which stated her mom's address she decided it would probably be better to get this over with now then to stress about for the next little while.

Sara put the letter back in her purse and walked to her suitcase again. She decided she would definitely have to put her clothes in the dresser so she'd stop having to root through it. Grabbing her makeup she began the wonderful task of trying to make herself look alive and awake. An impossible task for a very tired and very nauseous woman who didn't care for wearing makeup in the first place.

The brunette touched up the skin under her eyes with 'cover-up' and had outlined her eyes in brown eyeliner. She had put on a touch of tan eye shadow and a single layer of mascara. It wasn't much, but definitely more then she usually wore.

She then pulled the top layer of her hair out of her face and behind her head, securing it with a clip, and pulled a couple pieces so they fell around her face so she looked more casual. She finished her entire 'get alive' routine with a coat of clear lip balm.

Smacking her lips together she grabbed her purse from atop her bed, made sure she had her room key and headed towards the door. She put on the same black heels she wore the prior day and opened the door. Placing the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob to make sure no one went in; she headed out towards the elevator.

As she pushed the down button and waited, she began to stress about meeting her mom. It was crazy. Most people couldn't wait to see their mom, and if they didn't it was usually because of the overly excessive motherly antics that they despised. But she was just nervous.

As the ding filed the air and the elevator doors opened with a whoosh, Sara looked up and began to walk into the elevator, coming face-to-face with the businessman from the day before.


	7. Is the Grass Greener?

Disclaimer: I own... NOTHING...  
Guys, please review! I know you all are probably busy with the holidays but, I really need reviews. I live for these things! And by the way, this chapter has not been beta-read... My beta is on vacay for the holidays and... I wanted to update for everyone. Sorry for any mistakes you may (probably will) find.

* * *

"Well Hello, again!" the man said in a friendly tone reconizing her.

Sara walked inside and put on a smile, "Hey."

"Going out to explore the town?" he asked, ignoring her obvious 'not interested' stature.

"You could say that..."

"Well, to start every good adventure, you should always get coffee. I'll show you the best place," he said as the elevator, as if on cue, reached the main floor.

Sara wanted to object, she wasn't in the mood to deal with some man. She would feel bad hanging out with some guy enjoying coffee when she had left 'her man' at home. But coffee may also make her feel better and if this was 'the best coffee' as he had said, then she might as well take advantage of his knowledge.

The two began to walk through the hotel, the businessman making small talk about how good the coffee place was and how she would 'love it. Sara nodded or made the customary 'Yeah', but didn't seem at all interested in what he had to say. All she wanted was coffee.

"I am sorry, I didn't even introduce myself... I'm Craig O'Brian" the man said sticking out his hand to Sara.

"I'm Sara" she said, shaking his hand warily.

"Ah. Sara. Hebrew. Means Princess"

Sara raised her eyebrows and nodded, obviously confused. This guy was paying attention to her, which she already questioned, but now he knew what her name meant. It definitally left her speechless.

Craig laughed, " My friend's wife is pregnant and Sara is one of the names they like. I'll have to tell him that a very beautiful woman has that name so it has to be a good one."

Sara wanted to tell him she was seeing someone, or tell him to go to hell, but the brunette decided to take the compliment and ignore his advances.

Catching the hint, Craig said nothing more and continued to lead Sara down the busy street.

The sound of honking car horns, talking people, and barking dogs filled the air. Even though it was barely mid-morning, the smell of hotdogs was already lingering through the streets. There were many more business people on the streets so the pair seemed to blend right in with the crowd, which Sara enjoyed.

"Where do you work?" Craig finally asked, breaking the silence and hoping she forgot about his previous comment.

"Well, ummm..." Sara began, "I am a CSI in Las Vegas."

"A CSI?" Craig said, surprised, "Really?"

Sara nodded, "Yup. That's me."

Craig smiled a genuine smile, not one of those fake ones men often put on their faces to impress someone and pretend they cared, but a real smile. "That is awesome. I was always interested in law when I was younger," he said with a chuckle.

"And what do you do now?" Sara asked.

"Oh. I'm an Accountant. I was good at math, my father told me that the world would always need accountants, so I got pushed into it."

"That sucks," Sara said, hoping he didn't ask about her parents, and thankfully he didn't.

"Not really, It's good pay and set hours every week. Plus the work place mortality rate in my job is quite low, which I suppose is quite different from yours"

"Yeah, definitely not a deskjob," Sara said with a laugh, thinking back to being stuck under a car in the middle of the desert. That would never have happened if she became a doctor or a teacher.

"Well here it is!" Craig exclaimed, coming to a small coffee place, "It doesn't look like much, but the coffee is excellent."

Sara smiled, The place really didn't look like much, but it was small and cozy. The bell even jingled when they walked through the door.

The small shop was warm, with red and black decor which only added to the casual feel, and with the aroma of fresh coffee and cinnamon which drew customers in, it was no wonder Craig spoke so highly of it. The seats were bar stools with abnormally long legs. The place even had a 'Specials' chalkboard and christmas lights strung about.

Sara smiled and was about to make a comment about how cute the place was before she was cut off.

"What are you having?"

"Oh. Umm.. I got it, don't worry about it"

"No, I insist," Craig said with a smile, " You walked all the way here and kept me company, it's the least I could do."

Sara smiled, and although she didn't usually allow others to buy things for her, she accepted his offer. It was just coffee, what could it hurt?

"Black coffee," she said with a smile. Just like her coffee, she was a plain jane kind of gal. No need for anything special.

Craig smiled and walked up to the counter, placing the order for two coffees. Upon recieving the two cups he handed the one to Sara and led her over to a table by the window.

The two nursed their coffee in silence for a couple minutes, watching the world on the otherside of the glass. It was interesting how, outside it was crazy, hectic, and strange. People yelled and looked frantic and in a hurry to get nowhere. Yet inside this coffeeshop, there was nothing besides the warm aroma of coffee and the comfy chairs.

Sara took a sip of her coffee and smiled, looking from the window towards Craig, " The coffee is excellent. How did you find this place?"

"A friend introduced me. When I first came here on business with a coworker of mine she insisted we come here for our morning joe. So I got hooked. Now everytime I travel here, I make sure to get my coffee from this place."

"Wow," Sara said with a smile, " Vegas has nothing like this. We got Starbucks everywhere, but nothing really cozy."

"That brings me to ask, Why are you here?" he questioned, taking a sip on his coffee before he spoke.

"Well... I lot has went on in the past year and... I just got engaged and... well," Sara studdered over her words. Not because she was nervous, but because she was questioning why she was here herself, "... and I was born near here so I thought if I came 'home', I would be able to..."

"Fix everything?" Craig proposed, looking into Sara's brown eyes.

"Yeah.. but I've only been here a day and... I am already wanting to go back."

"Maybe you just needed to see that the grass isn't always greener on the otherside..."Craig said with a smile, " Sometimes we just need to see that."

"Maybe," the brunette said, looking down into her coffee, "But it still makes me question my life. How good of a life am I having if I am constantly dreaming of somewhere else?"

"Maybe you've... had the same thing over and over again that you need change. Everyone needs variety in life. Maybe you just need a vacation?"

"You're probably right."

"Well, I don't mean to cut our coffee date short but," Craig said, standing up from the chair, "I need to get to work. It was nice talking to you, Sara. Enjoy your vacation."

And with that, he was off.

Did she really just need a vacation?

Did she really enjoy her life?

And who was this Craig O'Brian who she kept bumping into?

Sara was left alone with only coffee, her thoughts, and the sounds of the outside world.


	8. Welcome to Suburbia

Sara sat in her chair at the coffee shop for another few minutes in silence. She just stared off, looking at the street, thinking. The question still rang through her head, _was the grass greener?_

Sara wasn't really sure yet. She still felt numb. When she was in Vegas she felt along amongst friends. She didn't feel at home. But now she was 'home' and she felt alone once again.

Taking the last sip of coffee before grabbing her purse, Sara headed out towards the street. Standing out on the sidewalk she flagged down a taxi and got inside.

"Where to?"

"34th Jefferson" Sara replied to the man. He had a thick accent but Sara couldn't place it.

Sara watched the coffee shop move out of view as the taxi pulled forward towards the street.

She was doing it. She was going to see her mother. She was going to see her.

It scared Sara to know this. To know she was going to see the one woman that six months ago she wouldn't have wanted to hear from. But ever since the Miniature Killer, Sara felt like she had to see the woman. She had to finally talk to her mother about her past. About what happened in her childhood that so haunted Sara throughout her life.

It wasn't that Sara didn't love her mother. She never said that no matter what happened. But Sara felt almost afraid to go back. Like it would make her past real. That everything really did happen and that it wasn't some part of her imagination.

Sara clenched her purse tightly in her hands and felt the need to call Grissom. She felt like she should run to her safety net. To run to the one man that really did love her. Grissom did love her. He paid attention to her, wanted to know what was going on in her life… he loved her.

But right now was kind of late. She couldn't exactly go tell him this. And over the phone wouldn't be personal enough.

Sara found herself allowing these thoughts to jump around her head during the entire taxi ride. Not once did her mind go blank or think about something else. Only did she think about Grissom and her mother. An odd combination. But that's what she thought about.

Suddenly, Sara's eyes looked out onto the scene before her. They were driving through a regular looking suburbia. Large houses with lovely yards, children playing, elderly people gardening… it was the fairytale land that most people dreamt of.

Sara was sure the taxi driver had heard her wrong but when he pulled onto one of the streets, she looked up at the sign that clearly stated that she was on Jefferson.

The taxi driver pulled up to one of the houses and Sara paid him and stepped out onto the stone driveway.

The house was grey in colour and appeared to be three stories high including a basement. There was a double garage connected to the house. The house had a large porch, a white door in the middle and two windows on either side of the door. Above the porch was a small grey roof that led up to the second and final floor of the house. Above the smaller roof was the top level of the house, which has two large windows on either side and a smaller one in the middle.

Sara stared in awe for a moment, not believing that this would be her mother's home. She couldn't believe her eyes.

As Sara stood there, the front door opened and out stepped a woman. The woman was probably in her fifties but had aged quite nicely. She looked a lot like Sara except a bit shorter. Sara hadn't noticed the woman at first but once she did, her eyes widened.

"Sara?"

This chapter is a bit shorter then usual but I didn't want to start anything between Sara and her mother until I started a new chapter… so … I'll update ASAP! 


	9. Loving Silence

Happy New Year Everyone! I hope everyone had some fun this holiday season! Thank you so much for reading and hanging with me. I understand I am a little late updating, and for that I apologize. I uploaded the document but forgot to publish it. What a blonde moment! So, here it is! I promise to get the next one up as soon as possible!

* * *

It took a moment for Sara to snap back to reality when she heard her name but when she did, she nodded before looking towards the woman. The woman stood there, equally as shocked by who was standing in front of her.

Sara's mom, Laura, was the first to speak, "Come in," she said quietly, motioning towards the house.

Sara complied without a word and walked up the driveway, onto the porch, and through the door. The entrance had hardwood floors, a large wooden staircase to the left and a well-decorated living room to the right. A bit down the hall in front of her would be a kitchen and dining room.

Laura closed the door behind her and walked inside the living room.

"I didn't know you'd be coming… you never responded to my letter…" she said, sitting down in a chair.

"I know…" Sara said, "I'm sorry."

"No worries. I was just cleaning…" Laura said, looking her daughter over… "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine" Sara said with a short smile, trying to be polite.

There was a moment of silence between the two, both of which staring around the room, sneaking glances at each other, before the silence was interrupted.

"You've changed so much…" Laura said, looking at her daughter, her tone of voice was almost cheerful.

Sara nodded, wanting to make some comment about how 'that is what happens when you hadn't seen each other in so long', but decided against it.

"How is the job?" Laura asked quietly.

"Ummm… good. It's good" the brunette responded, "Are you working?"

"I did for a bit… I was a secretary… but that was a while ago. I stopped working since then,"

"I see…" Sara said, not really knowing what else to say, " How did you get this place?"

"I remarried. Joe wanted a big home. So we got this" Laura responded talking of her new husband and when Sara didn't respond, decided to continue, "You'd like him."

"I'm sure I would. Does he know about…?"

"Yes. Yes, he does."

"Does he know about me?"

"Yes. He's met your brother a couple times too. Jason lives about a half hour from here. He's a lawyer now," Laura said. She knew that Sara hadn't spoken to her brother since she moved to Vegas.

"That's good, I'm glad he's doing well," Sara said, " … How are you?"

"I'm good. I see a therapist weekly," Laura responded, "How about you? Are you getting any help?"

Sara shook her head but said nothing.

"You should"

"I know… I don't need you to tell me that,"

Laura nodded and decided not to push it. She may not have spoken to her daughter in a long while, but also knew that Sara was stubborn and defensive.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Laura asked.

Sara nodded, "Yes"

"Tell me about him"

"His name's Grissom. He's my boss at work…" Sara said, not really knowing what to say.

"How did you meet?"

"We met at a lecture when I was in school"

"He's older?"

"Yeah" Sara responded, knowing that the age gap between Grissom and herself usually gained them some conflicts with others. Not everyone understood that age was just a number.

Laura nodded. She always knew her daughter would date an older man. She'd learned from her trips to therapy that a woman who has no real strong father figure in their life tends to go for older men to make up for this. So this didn't really surprise her.

"Are you in love with him?"

"We're engaged."

"Congratulations, I'm happy for you" Laura said with a smile.

"Yeah, thank you," Sara replied.

Being there was awkward to say the least. Sara wasn't sure what to say and Laura wasn't sure what to ask. Neither of which wanted to upset the other, but both didn't want to seem like the bad guy either.

Sara broke the silence this time with a question that was haunting the brunette for so long. "When did you get out?" she finally asked.

"In 2000. Right when you moved to Vegas," Laura responded, knowing full well the question would come eventually.

"Why didn't you call me? I left my number at the hospital for you…" Sara said, her voice sounding small and strained. Almost like she was going to cry. It wasn't like Sara to let her emotions run free, but she was hurt by the fact that her mom had gotten out and didn't try to make contact with her until now.

"I wanted to. But I wasn't sure if you wanted me to," Laura said, looking down at her hands, " I wasn't sure if you wanted me back in your life…"

"You're my mom. Why wouldn't I want you in my life?"

"Because of everything that happened. I wasn't a strong mother. I wasn't very good at being a mother back then. I think back and wish I could have changed almost everything…" she responded, looking up into Sara's teary eyes.

" Everyone makes mistakes,"

"I know. But I made some major ones. And to be honest, I don't think I was ready to see you," Laura spoke quietly, " I hadn't really dealt with everything yet so… how could I try to explain myself to you if I couldn't explain anything to myself?"

"But you could talk to Jason?" Sara said, her voice starting to get annoyed.

"It was easier with him. He was older and he understood. You two were two totally different people. He went through things… you went through things…" Laura paused, "I don't think I was ready to admit to myself that I had allowed my daughter to… to go through all that…"

Sara nodded and watched as her mother began to tear-up. Sara wasn't good at this and she knew herself that it would be best if they took a bit of a break. Their meeting wasn't long, but both had overcome something in the few minutes they'd sat and spoke. The words were few, the information was little, but it meant a lot to both.

So without a word, Sara rose from her seat, and began to walk towards the door. But before she did, she placed her hand on her mother's shoulder and looked into her eyes for a moment. She wanted her mom to know she would be back, that this wouldn't be the last she'd see of her daughter.

Sara walked out of the room and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind her before she dropped down on the doorstep and began to cry. Her mother, in the living room, doing the same thing.


	10. New Car, New Friends

Thank you so much to meester who makes a habit of reviewing. I love you so much for this! This one if for you! 

Once Sara was able to pull her sobbing body off of the wooden doorstep and stand without feeling nauseous, she pulled out her cell phone and called a cab. She slowly began to pace the sidewalk outside her mother's house waiting for the car to pull up to retrieve her.

"I'm so getting a car when I get back," the brunette said aloud, not caring if anyone seen or heard her talk to herself. She wasn't about to be worried about what other people thought of her.

Seeing the yellow cab pull onto the street, Sara walked back to the drive-way of her mother's house and with one last look at the living room window of the house, got inside the cab.

The cab ride felt like forever. So much was going through Sara's mind that she felt like her world was crashing down on top of her. She was far from solving things with her mother, but this was definitely a start to that. Now at least she'd spoken to her mother. She wanted to ask her mother so much more. She wanted to get to know her mother; to know what has went on since they last spoke.

But most of all, Sara wanted to make friends with her mother. She knew they would never have a Mother/Daughter relationship like everyone else. But she at least wanted to be able to talk to her mother. To talk about their days, what was going on with work, life, some celebrity they were following… basically just be able to talk about anything. She wanted to be able to introduce her future children to their grandmother. That is, if Grissom and her were still together when she got back and if they wanted children. The two never spoke of children. It just didn't seem in their cards at the time.

When the car pulled up to the hotel and the driver said the amount due, Sara quickly paid and walked inside the hotel. Most people had seemed to check in or out so the lobby wasn't as populated as before. It was pretty dead to be honest.

Sara made her way to the Car Rental desk and began to fill out the form as asked. It asked the usual Name, Age, Gender, Credit Card Number, whether or not she wanted insurance. Sara filled everything out and was able to pick out her car. She chose a new Trail Blazer in Black Granite. It was a manly vehicle yes, not something a woman would usually drive, but she didn't like little cars. She wasn't that girly.

Upon receiving the papers for the car and information on what parking lot she could pick it up in, Sara turned around and seen Craig walking in the entrance. She smiled and walked over to him.

"Why, hello," he said, his face changing from a frown to a smile upon seeing her.

Sara grinned, "How are you?"

"I'm good. Long day at work… How are you?"

"I'm good… just got back from… running errands… wondering if you wanted to go out and get something to eat…" Sara said with a smile. She was in a good mood right now and since she was feeling lonely, decided she might as well make a friend.

"I think that sounds great… Just let me put my bag in my room and I'll meet you down here," he said with a smile, obviously happy about getting asked to dinner.

Sara smiled and the two went to the elevators. Sara exited at her floor and left Craig in the elevator to get to his. Sara walked down the hallway to get to room 222 and swiped her card.

Sara quickly touched up her make-up, which was a bit smudged under her eyes due to her crying and then brushed her teeth. Her mouth tasted of old coffee right now and she wasn't really enjoying it.

The brunette felt like she was getting ready to go out on a date. Which was strange given she wasn't. They were just having dinner… right?

Sara decided it would be just dinner and retrieved her purse and headed downstairs. Craig joined her a couple minutes later and the two looked at the map on San Francisco on the wall. The map outlined some 'Hot spots' but the two decided upon a small bar near by.

Deciding to walk, the two headed out the door, making their way towards their restaurant of choice, talking about the news and whatever small talk that came to mind.

Sorry for it being so short… I didn't want to continue their 'date that's not a date' so I'm probably going to continue that next chapter… or not… we'll see how I feel lol! Happy New Year Everyone!


	11. Phonecall

Sara smiled as the two walked back to the hotel after dinner. She really enjoyed Craig's company. It was nice to have a friend who wasn't going to know about what went on at work that day or anything about her past. She could just talk to him about anything and everything. There was no pressure.

Craig seemed to enjoy Sara's company as well, and although had made a few moves, seemed to understand that she wasn't looking for that kind of companionship. He was an all around nice guy.

Sara smiled and stepped inside the hotel, laughing at something Craig had said, as the two approached the elevator. They waited for it to arrive, still talking and then headed inside.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." Craig said with a smile.

"Yeah, I really enjoyed this, we should do it again sometime," Sara said and then the two stood in awkward silence. The elevator 'dinged' and the doors opened on Sara's floor.

"Well… goodbye, Craig," she said with a smile and walked out of the elevator and out onto her floor. The door closed behind her and she headed towards her room. She opened the door and walked to her bed, dropping herself onto it. She kicked off her shoes and leaned back onto the bed with a sigh. The day had been long, but enjoyable.

Sara slowly dug through her purse and got out her cell phone and dialled a few numbers. After a couple rings the other line picked up,

"Hello?" the voice on the other end questioned.

"Don't you find it funny how when someone picks up the phone, they question if someone is actually there?" Sara said with a giggle.

"Sara!"

"Nick!" she responded with a smile.

"How is your trip? Everyone has missed you so much!"

"Trip has been good. I'm really enjoying myself," Sara smiled.

"Don't enjoy yourself too much, we want you coming back," Nick warned and Sara laughed.

"I won't. I miss you guys. How has work been?"

"Good. A couple new cases but nothing huge right now. We've been quite slow," Nick responded.

"How is everyone?"

"Greg is the usual. Warrick seems to be good but he's going through some stuff… we don't really know what is going on just yet… Cath is fighting with Lindsay, par usual,"

"What about this time?"

"Dating. I think… they are butting heads a lot lately,"

"Teenagers…" Sara said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"We were all one once…"  
"I guess…" Sara said, "I can still shake my head though…"

"Grissom is doing good. He's quiet… more then usual…" Nick said with a sigh and Sara sighed herself.

"Has he said anything?"

"It took him almost a year to say you two were together, we're lucky he told us you left…"

"Yeah…" Sara sighed.

"Well Sar, I'd love to talk but I have to get to work… Talk to you soon!"

"Yup,"

"Love ya!"

"Love you too," Sara said with a smile and waited until the phone clicked to show he'd hung up before she flipped her phone closed. She definitely missed everyone. It wasn't the same without them but she had to do this. Tomorrow she'd have to call someone else. Just to keep contact with everyone.

Sara yawned and took off her pants, slowly climbing under the covers. Yes, the day had been long, but Sara knew she had enjoyed it. What did tomorrow have it store?

And as Sara was lulled into sleep, her normal dreams plagued her. No matter how nice the day had been, the nightmares always returned.

* * *

Sorry for this being so short! I am working on the next chapter right now so it should be up by the end of the day! Love everyone!


	12. Grown Up

To answer sprat's question, No, Sara will not call Grissom. I'll explain,  
Sara right now thinks Grissom is mad at her for leaving. She doesn't think he cares about her anymore. Grissom won't call Sara because he's afraid and thinks she left him because he wasn't good enough. Basically they are both assuming the worst of eachother, and therefore are not making contact. :) They will eventually talk, but remember, we're only a few days into Sara's trip... the wounds are still new for both of them.

* * *

A young brunette slept peacefully in her bed, the blankets pulled up to her chin and her hands pulled close to her chest. The only movement that could be seen was the rise and fall of her chest as she took in breaths.

_Standing in the doorway was a drunken man, his form held up by the doorframe, a bottle of beer in his one hand. His eyes danced over the bed of the little girl and then peered down the hall, as if to see if anyone was coming. When he didn't see anyone, he took a final swig of beer and staggered into the room in a drunken haze. He placed the bottle on the nightstand and sat heavily on the bed. Placing his large hand on the girl's shoulder, he shook her gently._

_As she yawned and slowly came to consciousness, she smiled, "Hi daddy," she greeted, trying to wake up. _

_As she sat up in bed, the father looked her over for a moment before smiling, "Happy Birthday darling," he said with a smile_

_The girl smiled and nodded as he continued to speak, "You're so big now. Thirteen," he said putting his hand on her shoulder, "You're so grown up."_

_As he spoke, his hand travelled down her shoulder towards her thigh. The girl looked up at him for a moment with a look of confusion._

"_I love you," the man whispered, "Don't be scared."_

Sara sat up in bed, once again drenched in sweat. She sighed and wiped the sweat off her brow with a sigh. Her breath was short and choppy showing her anxiety. Sara slowly through off her blankets and wobbled over to the washroom, tearing her clothes off as she went. Once she turned on the light of the bathroom, she dropped to the toilet and puked, no longer able to hold down the bile in her throat.

Sara sat, curled over the toilet for a couple more minutes before she slowly pulled herself to her feet and looked in the mirror. She looked horrible; tired, and sweaty. Her hand found the tap and she turned on the cold water and made a cup with her hand. Taking a gulp of the water, the brunette swirled it around in her mouth before spitting into the sink, trying to get rid of the vomit in her mouth.

Sara sighed and turned on the shower, crawling inside, allowing the boiling water to cascade over her, before letting out a groan.

Once again, the dreams had come to haunt her. This time, it wasn't about her father beating her, but about the last time she really seen her father. That was the first and only time her father and laid his hand on her in that way. Sara was terrified but only lay there motionless the entire time that cold

Later on, her mom had asked her about what happened, saying she had seen 'Daddy' go into her room and when Sara told her mom about what happened, her mom ended it all. What had happened that night had caused Sara to lose a lot of things; her dad, her mom, her family. But mostly it caused Sara to lose her innocence.

Innocence; that thing that sets children apart from the adults. Children are not afraid of what's behind every corner, because they know nothing to fear. They do not worry about what tomorrow holds or what happened yesterday.

Children don't worry about sex, drugs, alcohol, or violence. Things like that shouldn't go through a child's mind. But it went through Sara's. Sara never really got her childhood, something that messed her up to this day. It wasn't something she could ever get back, and it kind of frightened her to know that. She'd never be a kid. She'd never have that carefree life that so many were able to enjoy.

Sara went on with her usual antics of washing the sweat off her body as she tried to calm down. This state she was in was usual, although this dream was one she really wasn't interested in reliving.

After getting out of the shower, getting dressed, and preparing her daily 'Get Alive' routine once again. She was dressed in the usual blouse but today she decided to grace the world by wearing a skirt. Now, this wasn't some short skirt, it hit just above her knees and was a dark grey in colour. She chose thin black heels to go with it and smiled at her reflection in the mirror.

Today, Sara was going to visit her brother. Now, he didn't know that yet, he was not made aware of her presence in town as far as Sara knew. But Sara was going to show up at his place today, and hopefully get to know her brother a tad bit better.

The pair hadn't spoke in nearly eight years. A long time for a pair of siblings to go without contact, but then again, a couple days ago, Sara would not have thought to visit any of her family.

Grabbing her purse, Sara went off towards the door, heading down to the lobby, and out the door towards the parking lot. Making it to her designated pick-up place, she pulled out her car keys.

Stopping by a man at the entrance to show him she was picking up her rented vehicle, Sara hopped inside the beautiful SUV. After making a few adjustments, Sara started the car and pulled out onto the street with a smile, listening to the soft rock radio station as she drove along.


	13. No Longer 'Little Sara'

As Sara cruised down the street her mind began to wander. She hadn't seen her brother in so long, what was she going to say? She spoke to her mom and, even though it went well, they didn't really speak. It was emotional but didn't really change too much. Her brother wasn't an emotional guy. At least not what she remembered.

As she stopped at a red light, she looked down at the map laying in the passenger seat with the directions to where her brother lived. He really wasn't that far out, only about fifteen more minutes of driving.

She turned the corner and turned the radio station, trying to find some other music. She settled on some random channel, tired of trying to find something she liked, and gave up.

_Why won't you pay attention?  
Pray every night I'll make you happy  
If I'm real bad will you punish me?  
The contact hurts but at least you're touching me_

Sara sighed as she listened to the song's lyrics. What was with all of this emotional music anyway? She swore the radio knew her personally as the song continued to ring on through the car.

_Jump up and down and I'll even fall  
To your feet you're stepping on me  
You're hurting me, you don't notice me, you're hurting me  
I'm screaming, I'm breaking, I'm grieving, get angry  
I'm rebelling, I'm trying, I'm losing, be proud of me  
I'm sickening, I'm learning, please notice me, I'm your baby  
Am I all you hoped that I would be?_

The lyrics stung Sara like a million tiny little bees. It brought tears to her eyes listening to the song. She wanted so bad to reach out and change the channel, but couldn't find herself able to move.

_I'm crippling, I'm sobbing, I'm degrading  
I know you want me  
I'm deprecating, I'm demoralizing  
I'm sad, humiliating, I'm empty  
I'm destroying, I'm guilty, I'm ashamed  
I'm wrong, I know I'm wrong  
Why won't you pay attention?  
Hung from a rope, then you'll know me_

Sara quickly hit the channel button on the radio and was glad to hear more upbeat music belt out from the speakers. The song hit too close to home, and Sara wasn't ready to listen to something like that.

As she continued on her search through the streets, trying to find the right one that led to her brother, she sighed.

She missed Grissom, she missed home, she missed everything. If you asked her a couple years ago, driving alone searching, would not have bothered her. If anything, it would have been normal. But now she missed everyone. Her friends. She missed their company. She especially missed Grissom. Although their car rides together were quiet, it was a comfortable silence. They could sit together and almost communicate without words. And now, it was just silence. Lonely, sickening, silence.

As she pulled onto his street, she smiled. It seemed her entire family had moved into suburbia, as once again, all the houses looked the same. Up kept and lovely. These houses were a bit smaller then one her mother was living in, but were just as fairytale.

Sara pulled into the driveway and smiled. She turned down her radio and looked into the garage. Her brother was inside, fixing something on a car, and she enjoyed the moment of just staring at him before he pulled himself up from underneath the vehicle. Sara slowly unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. She stood there for a moment, the two just staring at each other.

A woman came out from the house and looked at Sara before looking at Jason, who was moving towards Sara.

"Jay, who is this?" she asked, her voice high-pitched and whiny.

'Jay' didn't respond, he just continued to stare at Sara, walking towards her. He stopped just inches away from her and then pulled her into a hug. Sara stood limp for a moment, not expecting such an action from him, but then returned the action.

"I haven't seen you in forever," the tall brunette male said into his sister's shoulder.

"I know, I haven't really visited," Sara smiled as he pulled her a bit away from her to look at her.

"What brought you here?"

"I just thought I'd visit," Sara lied and thankfully Jason didn't question.

"Come inside," he said and motioned towards the door. He took Sara's hand in his and led her up the stairs towards the woman standing on his porch, "Sara, I'd like you to meet my wife, Shelley, Shelley, this is Sara, my sister."

Sara smiled at the woman and stuck her hand out to shake hers, "Pleased to meet you," she said but her kindness was not returned. The woman ignored her.

"I need to run to the store, Jason," she said, her manicured fingers running through her platinum blonde hair, "I'll be back in a bit."

Jason kissed his wife goodbye and watched as she walked over to their car. Given they had a quite large driveway, his wife was able to pull around Sara's car and he turned back inside once he knew she'd be able to make her way out.

Sara followed him inside, "Shelley's very pretty," she said with a smile, not commenting on the woman's personality.

"Yeah, she used to be a model," he grinned, leading her into their living room, "She likes to think she still is."

"Why'd she quit?"

"She didn't," Jason smiled, "She got pregnant. Kevin. He's almost two now."

"Congratulations!" Sara exclaimed and Jason smiled, "Do you enjoy being a father?"

"Every minute of it," he replied, "How 'bout you? Any kids?"

"Naw," Sara smiled, " No kids. Work takes up a lot of time so I haven't jumped into that boat yet."

"Do you have a guy yet?"

"Yes, I have a 'guy'," Sara smiled, "At least… I think I do. We're in a little… rut…"

"If he's worth it, he'll get over whatever happened," Jason replied, and watched as Sara looked away. She definitely still had major trust problems. "How are you, Sara?" he asked finally.

"I'm good…" Sara replied with a nod, "How are you?"

"I'm fine. I got a good life…" he smiled.

Seeing Sara, little Sara, all grown up was hard for Jason. He still pictured her as a little girl, not a grown woman. He remembered her bothering him to play dolls with her, or following him around the house. She was always so interested in what he was doing. He didn't like it then, but after not seeing Sara for so long, he kind of wished she did follow him around still. He could have kept an eye on her.

"Yeah, a kid and a wife, a good job from what I hear, you've got it made!" Sara smiled, looking into her brother's eyes. They had the same eyes; it was just now that Sara noticed it.

"How did you hear about my job?" Jason asked.

"Oh… I visited mom,"

"How was that?" 

"Good… I mean, as good as expected. We'll never be perfect, but we got to talk a bit…"

"You going to visit her again?" he asked, hoping she said she was. 

"Probably. I mean, I want to… It's not easy…"

"It never is easy," Jason smiled, "When I first started talking to mom, I blamed her for everything. She wasn't the source of the problem, but I blamed her for it. She was my scapegoat. Don't do that to her Sara… Don't make the same mistakes I did"

"I won't. It's just hard trying to make conversation with a woman you know very little about. Who knows nothing about you…"

"Maybe you should talk to her again, have some coffee or something and just talk…"

"Maybe, I should"


	14. Homesick

She had talked to her brother for a little longer before Sara decided she should leave. She really enjoyed talking to her brother and was happy to see he was doing well. But the brunette was surprised by how friendly everyone was to her. She expected them to almost hate her; she hadn't spoken to them for so long, it just seemed like that was how it should be. But both her brother and mother were equally supportive of the fact that Sara was visiting.

The drive back to the hotel was long and tiresome. The road was basically dead, but since it was late evening by now, it was surprising. It was just beginning to darken and most people, who were out, were walking along the sidewalk happily.

Sara enjoyed the silence of the car ride. It was an almost comforting silence, wrapping around her like a warm blanket. It was at this time, as she sat quietly in the polyester seat of her car, that Sara wanted to call Grissom. She'd been here in San Francisco for almost five days now and this was the first time she felt the real need to call him. She longed to hear his voice. To tell him all about her mother and how well she was doing. How she had a nephew and her brother got married. But her happy thoughts of Grissom were disturbed by the memory of the fact that she had left that man back in Vegas. She couldn't call him.

And he wouldn't call her.

Sara pulled into the hotel parking lot slowly and found a parking space after a couple minutes of searching the packed parking lot.

The tall brunette stepped out of her SUV and slammed the door closed. She walked through the eerily silent parking lot cautiously, her CSI training getting the best of her.

The only sound that could be heard was the sound of the traffic in the streets near by and the clicking of her heels. The odd screeching of tires on the other floors of the parking lot were disturbing her thoughts are Sara began to quickly move towards the door, feeling like she was in some horror movie.

She began to almost speed walk towards the door, looking behind her for a moment. She found herself turning around and running face first into a large chest of a man.

"Whoa there!" the tall man exclaimed and Sara was happy to see she recognized the face.

"Craig! You scared me," she gasped, her hand on her chest. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute and she could hear it in her ears. The sounds of the parking lot no longer scared her, "What are you doing down here?"

Craig motioned towards his luggage, "I'm heading back home," he explained, "Work here is down for this month. I'll be back in a month or so."

"Wow… that sucks, you're leaving me all alone," Sara teased and Craig smiled, "Here's my number. Call me when you get back. If I'm still here, we can get together and have coffee." Sara handed him a business card from her purse. It said CSI: Las Vegas, Nevada across the top, but it was all she had at the time. No personal cards, just work ones.

"That'd be great," Craig smiled, taking the card in his hand. He placed the card inside his wallet and looked up at Sara, "It was nice meeting you, Sara." With that, he walked away and Sara went through the doors into the hotel.

…

Sara sat on the edge of her bed and yawned tiredly, leaning back into the duvet on the bed. She reached for her cell phone and smiled as she read her text messages.

Greg had sent her a message telling her he missed her and that she should call him. Sara grinned and dialled his number. After a few rings his voice came on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hey Greg!" Sara chirped, glad to hear his voice on the other end of the receiver.

"SARA!" Greg screamed and Sara laughed, " I haven't spoke to you in so long!"

"Greg, it's been like five days…"

"I know! That's a long time!"

Sara laughed; "I guess…" she smiled, loving his enthusiasm. Greg was one of her closest friends. She remembered way back when he first started, Greg had had a crush on her. It was an innocent thing, and even though Greg knew her and Grissom were together, but he still loved to flirt with her, "How have you been, darling?"

"I've been good, M'lady" he returned, "We were dead for awhile but things have started to pick up again. We've had some interesting cases."

"Like what?" the brunette asked and listened to Greg tell her all about all of the recent cases going on. She loved to hear about it. Not only for the fact that she loved listening to stories about crimes but for the fact that she loved listening to her friend. She loved to know what was going on. As happy as she was to be in San Francisco learning about her family, she missed home. She missed the thrill of a new case. The times where she would hang out in the break room with her co-workers, her friends, and just talk and joke around.

"But basically, it's still Vegas here!" Greg laughed after he finished telling her about the case.

Sara chuckled, "Well Greg, it sounds like you're having fun there!"

"When are you coming back?" he finally asked, his voice low and soft.

The brunette sighed, "I don't know yet, Greg. I just don't know. I want to come back, I really do,"

"Then come back."

"But the thing is… I have to finish some things here…"

"Are you ever going to tell anyone why you're wherever you are?"

Sara decided it was time to tell someone where she was. She couldn't hide it forever. It wasn't like it was going to kill her to tell people… if anything, it would be a step forward.

"I'm in San Francisco…"

"Why?"

There was a pause before Sara continued, " I was raised in a foster home, Greg. I haven't seen nor spoke to my real family since I was thirteen. After everything that happened… I decided I should. I've finally spoke to my mother and my brother for the first time in years!"

"How is that going?"

"It's going good," Sara nodded, "I really enjoy getting to know them. It's slow… but it's happening."

"That's good to hear… but we still miss you," Greg sighed and Sara smiled on the other end.

"I miss you all too. So much. But I should go to bed Greggo. Talk to you again soon!"


	15. The Seminar

Kind of a jump in time for this chapter. This chapter is kind of just a summary of the past month and just a way to get into the next part of the story. The next chapter is a big one!

* * *

A month had past since Sara first met her brother. The two talked close to everyday and Sara was enjoying the life away from Vegas. She missed her flashing lights city, but the calm, tranquility of San Francisco was welcoming and loving and she was beginning to feel more and more like home here.

Sara and her mother had talked on numerous occasions now, went shopping together, had coffee… it was more then what Sara could ever ask for and she loved every minute of it. Although they hung out, the two seemed to hide a lot from each other, mostly about what really happened all those years ago that seemed to affect their relationship today. But although much was hidden, a lot was talked about in their ritual conversations over coffee or pizza. Sara spoke of her relationship with Grissom and how they met, how their relationship started, and how it recently 'ended' when Sara left Vegas. Laura spoke of how Joe and she met, what his reaction was to what had happened in the past, and how he accepted it rather well.

oOo

Sara rose from her hotel room with a smile, her dreams were becoming less and less problematic for her and she was noticing a decrease in them as well. She was starting to rid herself of the habit of waking up every morning in a cold sweat and she was really enjoying this time of serenity.

She was beginning everyday like she had before, Sara rose, showered, and brushed her teeth, grabbing her clothing and got dressed in a state of habit. It was a regular occurrence for her now and she'd begun to know people in the hotel. Her mood was becoming happier and she was definitely friendlier then she had been.

Just then, Sara's phone vibrated across the nightstand and she dashed to get it, thinking it was one of her coworkers calling her to update her on the latest case. Although she wasn't there, she was really interested in what was going on back home.

"Hello!" she sang into the phone as she sat on the bed and began to pull on one of her black leather boots, the phone balancing on her shoulder.

"Hey Sara," the deep voice came on the other end, "It's Craig."

"Craig!" the brunette exclaimed, "How have you been?"

"Good, good. Been busy," he explained, obviously happy to hear her cheerfulness, "How are you?"

"Good. I was about to grab some coffee," she smiled, pulling on her other boot and zipping it up her calf.

"At the usual spot?"

"Yupyup!" she giggled, "You have me hooked!"

"Well, just thought I'd let you know I'm in town now. Back at the same hotel too, so if you wanted to hook up sometime, you should call me."

"I will, I will!" Sara smiled, "I'm busy today, I have a seminar to go to with an old friend of mine, but I'll call you soon and we can get something to eat or something. Catch up."

"Sounds great, I'll talk to you then. Bye!"

"Buh-bye!" Sara smiled and flipped the phone closed, grabbed her purse, and began heading out the door as she dialled the number for someone else.

"Hello?" came a voice after a couple rings on the other end.

"Hey Brandy!" Sara smiled, "Just wondering if you wanted coffee or tea or something before the seminar?"

"Uhh… sure! Tea please!" The voice said.

Sara slowly closed her hotel door behind her as she headed out, the phone still in her hand, "Okay! I'll see you in a bit!"

OOo

Sara had grabbed the drinks and was just pulling into the parking lot of a small university. She grinned as she looked up at the school, admiring the building. Spending time exploring the city was something Sara did in her spare time here in this big ol' city. She began to notice small things about buildings that most passers-bys wouldn't. She noticed shape and colour and the different stones, and how some were meant to look rough whilst the one beside it wanted to look smooth.

"Sara!" came a voice from behind her and a small blonde came into view of Sara as she turned around.

"Brandy!" Sara mocked and handed the blonde her tea.

"Merci!"

"De rein, so how long has it been since we've went to know of these together?" Sara asked with a smile as they began to walk up to the building.

Brandy laughed, "Oh my goodness, years! Since our senior year in University!"

"Good times!" Sara smiled, "How have you been?"

"Good. Job's been great, got a new one working day shift, which is so much better by the way," the blonde smiled, "How about you?"

"Good. Lazing around for a bit," Sara said as she stepped into the building and into the conference room. She sat down at one of the desks and began to read a note left on the table about a new way to scan fingerprints.

"God I miss work!" she sighed.

OOo

Sara laughed coming out of the room, "Did you see that guy checking you out Brandy?' she exclaimed, trying to hold back from screaming.

The day had been long, but Sara enjoyed learning what she did. She had finally noticed how much she missed her work and felt like getting the next flight home right then and there. Her break was amazing, but she felt the need to be doing something again. She wanted to be back at work.

"I did!" the blonde exclaimed, " He was so old!"

Sara could not help by stifle in a laugh. The man was probably fifteen to twenty years older then them. Brandy was dying laughing because the guy was 'old' but he would be around the same age as Grissom… so much had changed between the two friends.

" Well, I have to head off for the night, call you later!" the blonde said, hugging the brunette.

"Byebye, Brandy!" Sara smiled and

Sara headed over to her car and yawned, pulling herself into the seat. Buckling her seatbelt and starting the ignition, she flicked on the radio and pulled out of the parking spot, all the while, singing to the radio.


	16. Why?

Thanks to everyone who reviews, by the way! I love you all!

* * *

Sara's car pulled into the parking lot of the hotel at warp speed and quickly pulled into a parking space. The brunette stared out at the city skyline for a moment, confusing spread across her face, before her lowered her head onto the steering wheel and began to cry.

The sobs wracked through her body heavily as the tears fell down her face.

"How could she not tell me?" the brunette mumbled, her words muffled by her sobs, "How could she hide this from me?"

The brunette continued to cry; her arms crossed over her face now, her forehead still against the steering wheel.

"Why?"

The sun was shining that afternoon as brightly as could be, its ray reflecting off the bright green grass of suburbia, making the blades look almost fake. The sky was a bright blue and the clouds were fluffy and white, with no signs of rain.

_Sara stepped out of her car and smiled as she slammed the door shut and made her way up the paved driveway of her brother's suburban home. Her face was continuing to be bright and cheery as she hopped up the steps of his porch and knocked on his door._

_Jason opened the door with a smile and let the tall brunette inside. _

_Beside Jason was Kevin, Jason's two-year-old son, "Hello Sara!" the little boy exclaimed; "I'm hanging out with my aunt and uncle today!"_

"_Really?" Sara asked, her voice high-pitched in order to make herself sound excited for the small boy, "Where are they?"_

"_Upstairs, in my room!" Kevin said in a 'matter of fact' voice and Sara laughed._

"_You better go upstairs and keep them company!" Jason said with a smile and the young boy ran up the stairs, his tiny feet making the loudest sound stepping on each step._

_Sara smiled. Jason's wife had to younger siblings so she assumed they were here to visit, but decided not to visit them in case they were anything like Shelley._

"_What have you been doing this week?" Jason asked with a smile as he went into the kitchen to cleanup._

_Sara followed, "Nothing much. I went to a seminar yesterday with Brandy though," she said as she headed towards the kitchen._

"_Brandy?"  
_

"_A girl I met in college. I found her number and decided we should hang out since I'm here,"_

"_Sounds like you had fun," he said as he loaded dishes into the dishwasher._

_Sara smiled, "Yup I did! What did you do?"_

"_Babysat the demons," he laughed, pointing upstairs, "I didn't have to work the past three days and instead of hanging out with my son, I got to babysit."_

"_Remind you of being a teenager?"_

"_Too much so," he laughed and Sara smiled as he walked into the living room._

"_Where's Shelley?" Sara asked as she sat down in a chair in the living room._

_Jason rolled his eyes, "She doesn't like them," he said, motioning again up the stairs, "So she's off to some yoga class."_

_Sara decided not to comment on how the woman didn't like her own siblings and changed the subject, "Why did you have work off?"_

"_Changing from day shift to night shift this week,"_

"_That sucks!"_

"_It does, but I'll survive. It's not like the world is going to end because of it,"_

"_That's right!" Sara smiled, "You'll just have to deal without your beauty rest"_

_Jason laughed, "Shelley gets enough beauty rest for the both of us."_

_Sara sighed, "Is everything okay between the two of you? I mean… you sound stressed."_

"_Yeah," Jason sighed, "Everything is fine. She's just not a 'motherly' woman so it's hard to try and have her help raise a child she didn't really want in the first place."_

"_She didn't want kids?"_

"_Nope," the tall man sighed, "She wanted to work. But we got pregnant and she decided to try out the motherly thing."  
_

"_Did you want kids?"_

"_I did," he explained, "But I was so in-love with Shelley at the time that I thought I could change her. Make her want kids. I was wrong."_

_Just then, the doorbell rang and the three children ran down the stairs, their footsteps beating against the stairs. The trio screeched to a halt and opened the door._

"_Mommy!" the two 'Aunts and Uncles' screamed and Sara was surprised to see how young they were. Shelley's mom must have been really young having them._

_The woman closed the door and started to walk inside the house, "Hey Jason, I was just at the supermarket and seen a…"_

_The two women came face-to-face and Sara realised, it was her own mother. _

"_Mom?" the brunette questioned, her voice in a state of shock._

"_Sara, I didn't know you were going to be here," Laura said, straightening up._

"_You didn't tell me you had… other kids," Sara said, her voice still in shock._

"_Sara, I…" Laura wanted to explain but Sara quickly got out of the chair and stormed out of the house, the screams of her brother and mother telling her to stop didn't slow her down._

"Why didn't she tell me she had kids?" Sara screamed in her car, her body shaking as she spoke, "Why?"

Just then, Sara unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her car door. Getting out of the vehicle, she slammed the door and headed into the elevator that brought her to the hotel floors.

She pressed the button '5'. She fidgeted through her purse for a moment before finding a piece of paper, looking at she read a room number, and through it back into her purse.

When the elevator doors opened, Sara bolted through them and went down the hallway. Finding the door she was looking for, she started banging on it, praying for it to open. When it did, Sara smiled

"Sara?" said the man and before he could get out another word, Sara was in Craig's arms, her mouth pressed against his, her arms wrapped around his neck. He took a couple steps back, picking her up off the ground, still kissing, and kicked the door closed.


	17. What Have I Done?

Thanks everyone for messaging or reviewing. I love when people take the time to write to me :)  
Yes, that did just happen. Sara did sleep with Craig. I know it's kind of unlike her in some ways, but in my mind, everyone is capable.

* * *

The sun beaming in the window from the outside woke Sarah that morning. She groaned and went to sit up before realizing she wasn't wearing clothing. She looked around startled and realized what she had done.

"Holy shit," were the only words to come out of her mouth that morning, she couldn't think of anything else to say. She looked down at Craig who still remained asleep and quietly tried to get out of bed without waking him. She managed and quietly gathered her clothing from around his bedroom, before she got dressed and tiptoed out of his room.

She made it to the hallway and got into the elevator, her face blank and without emotion. She waited quietly for the elevator to make it's way down to her floor before she stepped out and walked down the hallway. She made it to her room without a noise and her shaking hands began to dig through her purse in order to find her room card. She finally managed to get her shaking hands around the card and then pulled it out, bringing it to the door and slowly pulling it through the scanner.

When the door buzzed, Sara pushed the door open and slammed the door behind her. There she collapsed on the floor in a heap of sobs.

"What have I done?" she asked herself, her body shaking from the sobs that came from deep inside her. She curled her knees up to her chest and hugged them, her head lying on top as she sobbed, "What have I done?"

Sara didn't know what to do with herself at the moment so she continued to let the sobs wrack through her body as she sat on the floor. This continued until she could no longer cry and her entire body hurt from doing so. She slowly rose, her head light and dizzy, and made her way to the washroom. She tore off her clothes and turned on the shower, stepping into the boiling hot water.

The brunette began to scrub her body, scratching away at her skin as if trying to peel off of any remains of what she had done. The entire time, the face of Grissom was in her head. She scrubbed her body until the hot water ran out and then slowly stepped out onto the cold floor, her skin red from the heat and the harsh treatment it received.

Sara dried herself and wanted to start doing her makeup but decided against it. She couldn't bring her body to do anything. It just wouldn't work. Her chest hurt so much from crying that she could hardly breathe and Sara made her way over to her bedroom. She grabbed a t-shirt, Grissom's t-shirt, and pulled it over her body, happy to have his scent replace the one she had on her earlier.

The brunette crawled into bed and began to cry again, "What have I done?" was once again the question coming out of her mouth. She didn't know what to do with herself and remained crying until she fell asleep, her pillow drenched in her tears.

oOo

The CSI awoke a couple hours later, her head pounding. She moved robotically around her apartment, cleaning it. She had no clue why she was cleaning, but found the need to do so.

As she began making her bed, her cell phone rang. Her mind started to race thinking Grissom somehow knew and was calling her. She slowly made her way to her purse, which still remained beside her door, and retrieved the vibrating box.

It was Craig.

Sara set her phone to ignore the call and put the phone back into her purse. She wasn't ready to talk to him right now. And thankfully, he didn't know which room she was in so he wouldn't be able to contact her.

She went back to cleaning her hotel room; putting her clothes back into her suitcase and putting everything back to where it should be.

She wanted to go home. She no longer wanted to here. She wanted to go home and jump into Grissom's arms and just tell him she was sorry for everything she had done.

Again her phone rang and she cursed her phone for it. Walking over, she grabbed her purse and retrieved her phone. This time it was her mother calling. Did she want to pick up? Did she really want to talk to this woman?

Sara's mind asked a million questions before she did indeed open the phone, but didn't say a word.

"Sara?" came the voice on the other end.

Silence.

"Sara, talk to me"

Silence.

" Okay. I'm really sorry for what happened yesterday, I didn't mean for it to happen like that…" Laura said, her voice slow and soft, "Can we please talk about this?"

"Where?" Sara finally spoke. Her voice was almost hurt.

"That coffee shop you brought me to," her mom said and Sara mumbled something incoherent before saying she'd show up. Her mother told her to show up as soon as she could and Sara hung up the phone.

"I can't just ignore her, " Sara started talking to herself again, "I came all this way. Went through all of this. I can't just leave without again without… solving this, right?"

The tall brunette started pacing around her room, " I need to deal with this…"

Sara walked over to her 'living room' in her room and got to the mini fridge. She opened the door and looked inside, her hand grazing one of the bottles of tequila. She grabbed the bottle and sat on the couch and placed in on the table in front of her, staring it down.

One part of her wanted to drink the warm liquid, it would make off of the pain go away. But the other told her not to, that it would only bring more problems.

"Just a sip," she said and grabbed the bottle. She looked at the bottle again before placing it back on the table, "No… I can't…"

Sara got up, leaving the bottle of the table, and grabbed her purse heading out the door. She needed to get out of that room. She couldn't sit in there with everything.


	18. I Should

Sorry it took so long to update. Exams are next week and I've been studying a lot. I'll be slow to update for a little bit, I apologize for this, but I will try to get a chapter up by the end of the week!

* * *

Sara made her exit through the hotel as fast as she could, hoping to god she didn't run into Craig. She couldn't talk to him right now; she just couldn't fess up to what she had done, she couldn't fess up to that big mistake.

Sara made it to the street safely and then made her way down towards the coffee shop, leaving her car in the parking lot. It wasn't a long walk. She wouldn't need it anyway, she told herself.

The streets were floated with people and Sara pushed through most of them as quickly as she could. Their bodies were barriers, blocking her from reaching her destination. And even though Sara may not have been ready to see her mother, she had to get as far away from that hotel as fast as she could.

…

Sara finally made it to the coffee shop moments later and looked to see her mother gazing at her through the window. She looked almost sullen sitting there, like she was in some really sad, dramatic movie. Sara took a deep breath and pushed open the door of the shop, the bells attached to the door jingled as she entered.

"Sara," Laura said as the brunette walked over to the table her mother was seated at.

"That's my name," Sara responded and received a sour look from her mother.

Laura sighed, "I'm sorry about earlier," the woman said, looking down at her hands rested on the table, " I really did mean to tell you about them."

"Are they really yours?" Sara asked, making eye contact with her mother as she finished speaking.

Laura nodded, "Mine and Joe's" she said slowly and Sara nodded, "We had Catharine when Joe and I first got the house. We only planned to have her. But in 2004, I got pregnant with Jesse."

Sara nodded, just trying to take all of it in. She didn't know what to say.

"Catharine is a lot like you. She's quiet but is a sponge when it comes to knowledge," Laura laughed, "Jesse is only three but he's a real talker. He's definitely going to be a ladies' man."

"Sounds like you'll have your hands full," Sara said with a smile and Laura nodded her head.

"I definitely will with him."

Sara sighed, " Why didn't you tell me?"

Laura sighed as well, "I wanted to. Really… I did," she said sadly, "But… I couldn't. I just couldn't. I didn't know how to tell you."

"How about 'Hey Sar, I have two kids, just thought you'd wanna know," Sara said, glaring at the woman in front of her.

"Sara…" Laura groaned, "I didn't mean to hide it from you…"

The two sat in silence for a couple minutes, just staring around them. Neither one made a sound; even their breaths seemed silent. Laura finally sighed.

"What are you going to do?" she finally asked Sara.

Sara shook her head, "I think I am going to go home…"

"I see,"

"I think I've spent enough time here," the CSI explained, "I've been gone for almost two months now. I think I need to go back."

Laura nodded.

"I left my job, my friends, my… Grissom…" Sara said quietly, "I can't just stay here forever… My home is in Vegas."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," the brunette replied, " I am going to check out tomorrow morning."

"Can we visit?"

"Who is 'we'?" Sara asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"The family," Laura explained, "The kids and I… they'd really like to meet you."

Sara took a moment to respond, but finally nodded, "I'll be leaving for Vegas just after lunch as long as the plane is on time."

"Okay…"

"I need to go book a plane ticket, " Sara said finally, getting up from the table, "Call me tomorrow if you're coming."

"Okay," Laura nodded, "I will."

Sara started to walk towards the door when she heard her mother call her name.

"Sara," Laura said loudly and Sara turned around to look at her. They shared silence for a moment before Laura finally spoke, "I love you. Don't ever doubt that…"

The brunette stood in awe for a moment before nodding, trying to pick her jaw up off the floor, "I… I… Love you too, Mom," she said finally, before walking out the door.


	19. Take the Risk

Sorry for taking so long to update. My exams will be over on Wednesday so after that I should be good for going back to writing fanfic. I didn't know how to write this chapter, to be honest. I've been working on the two chapters that follow this one and it's been hard deciding what to base this one around. Instead of making numerous chapters about nothing, I decided to just touch on a couple things that would happen before Sara's departure from San Francisco, and her enterence back into Vegas.

There will be more to follow this, by the way. I'm just not happy with how the other two are sounding just yet. They will be up as soon as I'm at least a little bit happy:)

* * *

Sara stood in the lobby of the hotel just after checking out, her suitcases at her side. She sighed and glanced at the silver watch on her wrist before looking back at the door in front of her.

"Where are you?" she asked out loud to no one in particular. She had spoken to her mother earlier that morning and Sara's mother informed her that she would be coming to visit her before Sara left.

Sara looked down at her watch again and began to tap her foot. She couldn't wait much longer, her mother was supposed to be there twenty minutes ago and Sara needed to be in the airport in just over an hour.

The tall brunette was just about to leave when her mother walked into the hotel lobby. A tall, dark haired man who Sara assumed to be her mom's new husband and two children followed her. The eldest child, a daughter, looked exactly like Sara besides having a bit lighter of hair and the son was a bit pudgier and had lighter brown hair.

Sara smiled at them, not knowing what to say, as they walked closer to her.

"Sorry, we're late," Joe said with a smile, " Jesse didn't want to get in the car."

Sara smiled at the man and nodded, looking to her mother. She still was awe struck by the fact that her mom had a family. Even though she was upset before, she was not strangely happy to see her mom had moved past everything and began a new life.

"Sara, " her mom said with a smile, "This is Joe, I've told you about him before."

Sara shook the man's hand with a smile before her mother continued.

"This is Catharine," she went on.

Sara looked at the little girl with a smile, "Hello sweetheart," Sara said, holding out her hand to shake the girl's. The girl shook her hand in return and then went to hide behind her mom.

"And this is Jesse," she said, motioning towards the boy who was pushing over Sara's suitcases.

"Trouble maker," Sara said with a nod.

"Everyone, this is Sara," Laura smiled, getting Jesse away from the suitcases, "Sara is your big sister."

The kids stood awe-struck for a moment before Sara smiled at them. It was strange to be referred to as a 'big sister' but she kind of liked it. She hardly knew these kids but she hoped to at least be a small part in their lives when they got older. It would mean the world to her if she'd finally be a part of 'the family'.

…

Sara continued to chat with her family in the lobby for a few moments longer, just enjoying the questions she received from the little ones about where she'd been, why didn't she visit, and how far away Vegas was.

Her 'family' hugged her goodbye as they all left the hotel and got into their cars, the family in an SUV whilst Sara headed for a taxi. She wished she could have stayed longer, to have been there to see them around Christmas, but she knew she needed to go home. She was homesick. She missed her friends, the casinos, the flashing lights, and Grissom. Heck, she missed him more then anything right now.

Sara sat in the taxi silently, staring this time at her cellphone rather then out the window. She wanted to call Grissom and tell him she'd be coming home. But she couldn't bring herself to dial the number. She couldn't bring herself to open her mouth and speak. She was terrified about what had happened the other night. She'd cheated on him. How was she going to explain that? How could she live with herself knowing she'd cheated on her fiancé?

Sara reached the bustling airport and waited in numerous line-ups, waiting to get to her Gate. She'd finally made it to her Gate as they announced the 'final boarding call'. Sara was able to sit near the window and she leaned her head against the grey wall of the aircraft as it took off into the air.

…

The flight seemed like eternity but finally it ended. She arrived back in Vegas only a couple hours later and was greeted with rain. Rain! Sara groaned, wishing she'd brought the good San Francisco weather with her when she came.

She grabbed her bags from the revolving lane at the 'Baggage Claim' and then took it out to the sidewalk, hauling down a taxi. Upon getting one of the yellow buggers to pick her up, she through her suitcases into the back and then told the taxi driver her address.

Sara reached home a while later and was greeted by a full memory on her voicemail and endless letters and bills in her mailbox. She sighed and took the envelopes to the table and chucked them on top and then went to check her voicemail. She had seven messages from Warrick, four from Catharine, ten from Nick, and lucky fourteen from Greg. There were a number of others from people Sara didn't know but not one from Grissom.

The brunette sighed and fell onto her couch, her hand rubbing her forehead as she tried to figure out what she was going to do. She couldn't just ignore the fact that she'd slept with another man. She couldn't just wait until later to tell him either. Either way, she would be hiding something from him.

She was already hiding so much. She hadn't told him where she was going, why, when she'd be back. She hadn't updated him like she had the rest of the workplace. She ignored him.

Now he didn't call her either, but she knew Grissom wasn't good with words. Neither of them was. They were perfectly happy in the dead silence. Which is why Sara didn't suppose a phonecall would be good for them. They couldn't read each other with a phonecall.

Sara slowly looked up at the entrance of her house and sighed. She had to talk to Grissom. Tell him what had happened. She didn't want to. The idea of seeing Grissom's face when she told him she'd slept with another man made her heart ache. But she also knew that lying to him would hurt so much more. Even if she had to risk losing him, it was a risk she had to take.


	20. Words Unspoken

Hello everyone! I decided to add some song lyrics into this one. I was listening to my favourite band (Rascal Flatts!) and I thought some of the lyrics fit the story. This chapter is mostly about Grissom and the songs are:

What Hurts the Most  
Words I Couldn't Say  
- Rascal Flatts

Definitely check out the songs! The band is amazing! So here's the chapter!

* * *

The rain hit the windows of Grissom's apartment hard and fast as he sat on the large chair in the living room of his apartment. He stared off into the wall, nursing the coffee in his hand, as he his mind danced around thoughts of the past.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me_

He'd just arrived home from work an hour ago and already he'd run out of things to do. He'd rearranged his book collection, cleaned off the dust on his TV, and started a load of laundry. With the dishes cleaned, the apartment spotless, and nothing on TV, he was left with memories of Sara and himself. Of her hand wiping the chalk off of his face, of pinning her to the bed sheet when they were recreating that crime scene. Memories of her shaving his face and lying with her in bed after a long case discussing how they'd want to die.

He missed her. It was plain and simple. But after two months of not seeing her, he was sure she wasn't going to come back to him. He'd just have to accept that. He'd have to accept the fact that she was gone and he was still here. He'd have to move on. He didn't want to, but he'd have to.

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

Grissom wished so bad that he'd asked her what was wrong that day. That he would have chased her down the hall instead of letting her go. He wished he could have been there to help her with her problems instead of her going out and having to deal with them all by herself. He wished that he was there for her.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken_

Grissom took a sip of his coffee and sighed. Was he really doing this? Was he really going to try and move on? Sara was the first woman he'd ever 'loved'. She was the first woman he thought he'd ever want to spend the rest of his life with. Was he really going to go on without her?

_What do I do now that you're gone  
No back up plan no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say  
_

Grissom mind was once again plagued with what 'could have' happened. The 'If only's an the 'what if's. What if I had said this? If only I did that. It was the same thoughts that kept running through Grissom's mind each and every day. Every night before he slept and every time he woke up.

_  
Theres a rain that will never stop fallin  
There a wall that I tried to take down  
What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips  
So I held back and now we've come to this  
And it's too late now_

Grissom sighed and placed his coffee cup on the table infront of his and leaned back into his chair. He rubbed his forehead and sighed again. He'd have to deal with this one day. This ache in his heart that began when she'd left him that evening. The day she left her job and everyone there.

_I should have found a way to to tell you how I felt  
Now the only one I'm telling is myself_

Grissom was about to get up and make his way to change the load of laundry when the doorbell rang. It was odd for someone to come to his house. He wasn't expecting anyone and it wasn't like anyone ever just showed up at his house. He wasn't that 'popular'.

He slowly rose from his chair and made his way over to the door of his apartment. He looked through the peephole and was shocked and what he saw standing on the otherside.

_Was it really her?_

Grissom quickly unlocked the door and opened it to reveal a cold and wet Sara standing on the welcome mat of his apartment.

"Sara?"


	21. I'm Sorry

Sorry it took so long. I argued with myself about the outcome of the whole 'Sara cheating' thing. But here it is!

* * *

Grissom couldn't believe his eyes. She was standing at that door in front of him. Sara was right there! This was the last person he expected to be standing at his door. And here she was.

"Can I come in?" Sara asked, shivering from the cool A/C in the apartment corridors. Grissom opened the door wider and stepped out of the way, motioning for her to come inside. She complied and he closed the door behind her, taking her coat off.

"Let me get you a change of clothes," he said quickly and left her standing in his doorway as he ran off to the back of his apartment to find her something to change into. Once he found a pair of pyjamas that she had left at his apartment he returned to her. "You left these here before you left" He said as he handed her the change of clothes.

Sara nodded and walked over to his washroom and changed. She looked at herself in the mirror and then looked down at her hands and noticed she was shaking. "Calm down, Sara," she said quietly to herself, willing her hands to stop shaking and her teeth to stop chattering. Once she felt like she could leave the room without stuttering, she opened the door and seen Grissom pacing back and forth.

Grissom looked like a deer in the headlights as he looked over at her. He quickly walked over to the sofa and sat down. He rubbed his hands together before speaking, "Sit down," he said to her, motioning to the chair adjacent to him.

Sara began to pace, trying to figure out what she would say to him. "I… I… can't," she said quietly and avoided looking at the man in front of her. She couldn't look at him.

Grissom looked up at her surprised, "Why not?" he asked.

"I… need to tell you something," she said finally, after a moment of silence. "I… I… slept with another man…" The words sounded strange coming out of her mouth. It felt like a horrible movie script and Sara felt like her world was crashing down.

Grissom looked at her wide-eyed for a moment before looking down at the floor. "You… you…" he said questioningly, trying to figure out how to respond to what she had said. This was not what he expected her to say. He didn't expect her to come out with it just like that.

Grissom put his hands on the sides of his head and sighed for a moment before looking back up at her, "Who?"

"This guy…" Sara said, still avoiding looking at him, "I met him in Chicago…"

Grissom nodded, "Why?" was his only question. He felt hurt by what she did but he hoped she had a reason for it. He knew Sara, and Sara was not the kind of woman to cheat on someone. He remembered way back when Hank had cheated on her and he knew she would never do that to someone else on purpose. Something must have happened for her to do such a thing as cheat on him.

Sara looked up at him for a moment before answering, "I met my mom…" she responded and Grissom looked at her again, surprised, "She has kids. A husband. She never told me." Sara paused again, searching for words, "It meant nothing, Grissom. I wasn't thinking. I know that doesn't make it better but…"

Grissom nodded. It didn't make it better, but at least her telling him gave him a understanding of what she went through in order to do it.

"I just thought you should know…" Sara said quietly, searching his face for any sign of emotion. The look of his face broke her heart. Her heart was in her throat and she felt like she was choking. "I'm going to go," she decided, "I'm sorry, Gil."

Sara headed towards the door and grabbed her wet clothing before he finally spoke, "Wait," he said quietly and Sara looked up at him, "Don't leave." Sara was shocked but nodded and placed her laundry back on the ground by his door and looked up at him.

Grissom looked up at her, "Why did you leave?" he asked. His face was blank and emotionless, but was searching hers. It sent chills up Sara's spine.

"I needed to," she said finally, "Everything was just spinning out of control and I needed to find a way to make it stop." Sara walked over closer to Grissom and sat down on the chair near him. Her whole body was tense and she felt uneasy but she knew she wouldn't be able to leave without explaining everything. Grissom wouldn't let her.

"After I was in the desert, my mom sent me a letter. She wanted to meet," Sara explained, "At first I completely rejected the idea, but the more I thought about it the more I knew I needed to. And then telling Hannah that her brother was dead just made me realize that… I was alone… I could end up like her…"

"You weren't alone," Grissom interrupted, "Don't I count for something?"

"You do," Sara said, tears filling her eyes, "You're my world, Gil! But I… You wanted to get married and… I just kept thinking about how you're supposed to have your whole family there when that happens and… I don't have one."

"You have a family," Grissom said, looking over at her, "Everyone at work cares about you so much!"

"I didn't realize that then," Sara sighed, "I… was stupid. So I went to San Francisco. I seen my mother… she got out a couple years ago and she met her husband. I saw my brother. He has a wife and a son. I saw an old friend of mine. She's married and talking about having a child or two. I felt so out of place…"

Grissom nodded and remained quiet as she continued, "I met this guy there and he was really nice to me. It was nice to have someone to talk to that knew nothing about me."

"Is he…?" Grissom asked and Sara nodded.

"Then I found out my mom had two children. I was shocked. I felt like I was being replaced. I felt childish. So I…" Sara paused, "I feel like an idiot, Grissom. But at the time it made sense. It was a mistake…"

"I made a mistake… a huge mistake…" Sara said, tears beginning to roll down her face, "I don't know how to make it up to you… but I… just feel… I'm sorry!"

Grissom nodded and looked at her. He was hurt, yes. He almost wanted to scream. But he loved Sara. He really did. And seeing her cry right now broke his heart. He wanted to be mad at her. He really should be mad at her. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to be mad at her when she really was sorry for what she did.

Sara sniffled and wiped the tears off her face, "I understand if you want to… stop seeing me…" she said finally, looking up at him. She almost expected him to hate her. She'd been cheated on before and she hated the man who did that to her, so she knew he'd be upset with her. It was only human.

"I don't," he said finally and Sara looked up at him for a moment, shocked, "Sara, I still love you. I'm not saying I'm not mad at what you did but… if you're willing to try and work through all of this then… We can."

Sara just stared at him as he continued, "You waited around for me. You put up with my being rude to you. I ignored you. I put work before you. I made so many mistakes in my lifetime and I can't let this be one of them," he said sincerely, "When you were gone… I realized that I made so many mistakes in our relationship. I made you wait and wait. I pushed you away. I hid our relationship from the world because… You're younger… I'm your boss… I made up so many excuses to not start a relationship and to hide everything. I never once just stopped letting everyone else's opinion of what was going on and listened to my own…"

"I can't just let you go now. I want to make this work. And if you want to… we should try…"

Sara sat, dumbfounded by his comment. "I want to," she whispered finally and Grissom's face lit up. Sara smiled at him and he got up from his seat and kissed her. It was something he missed doing the whole time she was gone and he was glad to be able to finally taste her again. He was happy to feel her face and see her bright eyes. He was glad to see her wet clothes on his floor, for her to be sitting in his chair,

He was happy to start again.

* * *

The End. 


End file.
